pen on paper: 'Dear diary'
Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better.
Tonight is the final debate. It is on foreign polices. I believe I have rented the finest foreign policies that can be had from Republican circles. I have practiced being angry about China, Iran, the Soviet Union Russia the Soviet Union, and a wide assortment of other nations. I have memorized several stinging rebukes of my opponent, which I have been instructed to use at random intervals throughout the debate. I am, I believe, fully prepared.
That said, I am glad this will be the final debate. This has been far too much work, and having to be angry with China for so long has been exhausting.