Credit Ashley Broadway

Ashley Broadway, left, married her 15-year companion, Lt. Col. Heather Mack, in November, but was later denied entry into a Fort Bragg spouses club.

Pentagon opts not to intervene in ban of lesbian by Fort Bragg spouses club

By Bill Briggs, NBC News contributor

The Pentagon is endorsing a move by leaders at Fort Bragg to stay out of a decision made by its on-base spouses club to refuse membership to the lesbian spouse of a female Army lieutenant, a Department of Defense spokesman said Wednesday.

The legal basis for the Pentagon’s stance is a department-wide “instruction” drafted in 2008, three years before the repeal of the military’s anti-gay “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy, said Nathan Christensen, a spokesman for the Pentagon. That directive ensures that “non-federal entities” operating on U.S. military installations don’t discriminate on the basis of “race, color, creed, sex, age, disability, or national origin.” There is no mention of discrimination based on sexual orientation.

NBC News reported Dec. 14 that Ashley Broadway, the newlywed wife of Lt. Col. Heather Mack, was blocked from joining the spouses club at Fort Bragg, N.C., sparking accusations from a national military spouses organization that Broadway was being blackballed only because she is a lesbian.

The Army’s handling of that matter runs counter to a directive issued Jan. 9 by Marine Corps leaders who ordered that same-sex spouses be allowed to participate in spouses clubs at all Marine bases.

“The Officer Spouses' Club at Ft. Bragg is in compliance with the DOD instruction,” Christensen said. “When you look at the instruction there are a few things it has to meet. As long as they meet those criteria, they’re allowed to meet on the base.”

Broadway and Mack have been together for 15 years, have a 2-year-old son together and Mack is expected to deliver their second child this month. They married in November — their first chance to hold a formal ceremony after the 2011 repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” On Wednesday, Broadway said the Pentagon's position only added fuel to a larger battle for equal rights being waged within the U.S. military by other same-sex spouses.

“This is no longer about me joining this officers club. This is about the Pentagon and the Department of Defense and the Department of Army telling the country that it is OK to discriminate against gay and lesbian service members and their families,” Broadway told NBC News.





Broadway, meanwhile, has been nominated for the Fort Bragg Military Spouse of the Year award, a precursor to the Army Military Spouse of the Year award and — perhaps, ultimately — the 2013 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year award, which represents all branches. She is one of about 10 Bragg spouses nominated for the award from that base. Online voting for the base-level award takes place Jan. 22.


Mack has received overwhelming support within her Army unit at Fort Bragg, Broadway said.

The Pentagon's position on the Fort Bragg matter is legally viable despite the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” because, Christensen said, the Department of Defense still follows the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). That law defined marriage as the legal union of one man and one woman. Under DOMA, the federal government doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages and doesn’t offer same-sex military spouses some benefits given to heterosexual spouses.

Asked if the Marine Corps’ recent directive banning the discrimination of same-sex spouses at its spouses clubs conflicts with the Pentagon’s stance, Christensen responded: “The DOD policy has not changed.”

But Mary Reding, a California attorney and president of Military Spouse JD Network — the largest association of military spouse 
 attorneys — contends that the Pentagon's legal hair-splitting contradicts the spirit of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.”

"While the Army's position is defensible based on outdated internal policies,” Reding said, "the current climate and the repeal of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' would indicate a shift in acceptance that should be a catalyst for an immediate review of discriminatory practices in all policy areas."

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck

IN honour of women's history month and in memory of Erma Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer.

(written after she found out she was dying of cancer).
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.'
There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.'

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it, and really see it . . live it and never give it back.
STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
All you are asked to do is keep this circulating, even if it's to one more person, in memory of anyone you know who has been struck by cancer.
 

A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle.
Please Keep The Candle Going!

Crabby Old Man 

(Beautiful Poem)

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home
in North Platte , Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions,
they found this poem.. Its quality and content so impressed the
staff that copies were made and distributed to every
nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri .

The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in
the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association
for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been
made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world,
is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet..


What do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . . . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . .. Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . . With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . With wings on his feet..
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . .. That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . .. . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . .. . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . .. . . Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . .. . Life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer . . . See ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet

An older person who you might brush aside

Without looking at the young soul within.

We will all, one day, be there, too!

PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM

The best and most beautiful things of

This world can't be seen or touched.

They must be felt by the heart.