Johnson, 51, of Washington, D.C, walked into the church, mourning the mom she described to msnbc.com as “a really cool woman; she was 85 going on 58.”
When Johnson and her partner arrived at the church – which her mom had attended, and her dad, too, before he died years prior – they were summoned by Rev. Marcel Guarnizo, a man they were meeting for the first time. He didn’t express his condolences, Johnson said, instead curtly getting down to business.
Johnson had painfully written a eulogy; her niece had also penned one. “We only allow one eulogy,” Guarnizo informed them, despite the fact that the church’s music director had told them otherwise, Johnson told msnbc.com. Johnson said she asked her partner to plead with Guarnizo to allow for two while she was called away for her pallbearer duties.
The day, already tense, was about to get significantly worse. Johnson said the priest denied her Communion at her own mother's funeral, telling her he couldn't give it to her because she was gay.
When it came time to hand out bread and wine, Guarnizo “issued a strong admonition that only Catholics in a state of grace can receive Communion,” Johnson told msnbc.com. “I went up. I was standing next to my mother’s casket and he covered the bowl, and said, ‘I cannot give you Communion because you are with a woman, and in the eyes of the church, that is a sin.’ I stood there with my mouth open in a state of shock for – I don’t know how long.”
But he wasn’t finished, Johnson said. Guarnizo had finally agreed to allow two eulogies, but she said family members told her that he proceeded to walk out of the service in the middle of Johnson’s dedication to her mother – something he didn’t do during her niece’s eulogy.
As the final insult, Johnson told msnbc.com, Guarnizo failed to attend her mother’s burial: “When the funeral home director appears, he says, ‘Father Marcel has taken ill. He says he has a migraine and is unable to accompany your mother’s remains to the cemetery.’ This was, for me and my family, his most egregious act.”
The Johnsons now want Guarnizo removed from his post, and are seeking an apology from him.
“You brought your politics, not your God into that Church yesterday, and you will pay dearly on the day of judgment for judging me,” Barbara Johnson wrote in a letter to Guarnizo. “I will pray for your soul, but first I will do everything in my power to see that you are removed from parish life so that you will not be permitted to harm any more families.”
Msnbc.com emailed Guarnizo on Wednesday but did not receive any response from him. Long videos online show him delivering anti-choice speeches, calling abortion clinics “veritable death camps.”
Priest doesn't apologize, but archdiocese does
Johnson, whose story was first reported in The Washington Post, said that Guarnizo has yet to apologize to her family or make any public remarks, but on Tuesday, the Archdiocese of Washington sent Johnson a letter of apology after she spoke with the secretary there.
“In my years as a priest, I have encountered many pastoral situations and know that kindness to those experiencing personal loss is a necessary part of the Church’s call to charity,” said the letter, signed by Rev. Barry Knestout of the archdiocese. “The fact that you did not experience this is a cause of great concern and personal regret to me. It is understandable that you and your family would expect the funeral of your mother to be a time of fond remembrance of her life and comfort from the Church in the midst of family grief.”
The letter apologized for the “lack of pastoral sensitivity.”
Guarnizo’s behavior was against the Archdiocese of Washington’s policy, according to a statement issued by officials.
“When questions arise about whether or not an individual should present themselves for communion, it is not the policy of the Archdiocese of Washington to publicly reprimand the person,” the statement said. “Any issues regarding the suitability of an individual to receive communion should be addressed by the priest with that person in a private, pastoral setting.”
When asked how she identifies herself religiously, Johnson told msnbc.com, “I’m a Catholic. I’m deeply influenced by eastern religion philosophy and the nonviolence of Gandhi and the Dalai Lama along with my church upbringing.”
Her parents worked hard to provide a Catholic school upbringing for her and her siblings.
“I’ve had a very rich and complex relationship with the Catholic church. As an adult, being a lesbian presents conflicts with one’s spirituality. I’ve been fortunate particularly in the last several years – I’ve received Communion every time I’ve gone to church,” she said.
'My mother loved the Catholic Church ... If she loved it, it was good'
For Johnson, however, the Catholic Church and Guarnizo are totally separate.
“It’s very important for everyone to know that my mother loved the Catholic Church. Her life was not celebrated properly; she wasn’t treated with respect by Father Marcel. His actions have turned people. I have gotten email upon email saying, ‘I’m not going back,’ and I say, ‘Please go back, because that man does not represent the Catholic Church.’ My mother loved the Catholic Church, and if she loved it, it was good.”
Johnson said she’s been overwhelmed by the support she has received from elsewhere in the church since the funeral.
“That’s where I’m focusing. Our family’s mission is to heal. The thing that would be required for that, we believe, would be an apology from Father Marcel. We greatly appreciate the apology from the Archdiocese. We also think he needs to be removed from parish life so no one ever has to experience this on the most tragic day of their lives again.”
Gay and lesbian-friendly faith leaders have backed Johnson.
“Shunning a grieving daughter at her mother’s funeral is a heartless act that violates the great commandment Jesus gave us to love God and love our neighbor. When judgment trumps compassion the Gospel is lost. My heart goes out to a lesbian daughter who loved her mom enough to eulogize her while enduring such unfaithful actions,” said Rev. Troy Plummer, executive director of Reconciling Ministries Network with United Methodist Church.
Added Dr. Michael Adee, executive director of More Light Presbyterians: “We grieve that this daughter and her family experienced judgment rather than grace and care. We cannot imagine how a priest or pastor could fail to provide pastoral care during the funeral of a loved one.”
Jump to discussion page: 1 2 3 ... 38
This
does not surprise me since I worked at a Catholic hospital and ended up
in some heated discussions with the Catholic Priest on duty. Shame on
this priest to cause the daughter more pain during her time of grief.
- 225 votes
He
was right to deny her.It's called religious freedom.And religious
freedom trumps special rights for homosexuals.She /He should have had a
memorial elsewhere with a minister from from a fake/deviant church
officiate!
- 108 votes
The
service was for the MOTHER not her. She had every right to be there.
Just because the priest could deny her the communion, doesn't make it
the charitable or kind thing to do. That's just something that you
people who are all of a sudden touting separation of church and state
don't seem to get. You're supposed to do the right thing ALWAYS.
- 128 votes
We're
not talking "special rights" here, "truthlogic." (Wow, there's a
certain irony in that name.) We're talking being treated with decency
and compassion. Seems to me this priest can't even live by what his
faith teaches. Seems like the priest is the "deviant," as you want to
call it.
- 122 votes
No
truth, no logic: the archdioceses said he was wrong and apologized.
Bigots like you are a disgrace to the church and the teachings of Jesus.
Religious freedom is not the same as religious intolerance. You are
free to pursue your own religion, not to impose your lack of values on
others.
- 102 votes
The
priest was within his rights to refuse communion to her. That being
said, he was also abrogating his responsibility to minister to those who
are suffering.
- 60 votes
Labeling
an entire group on an incident with one is harsh, immature and just
sad. My cousin was in a hospital where she was left soaking in a pool of
blood because none of the nurses or staff cared to check on how her IV
or whatever needle thing they put in her was. By your logic all nurses
and staff are careless people?
- 17 votes
It is not okay to be denied to your mother's funeral. It is not. It has nothing to do with being gay or straight.
- 53 votes
Yes, freedom of worship trumps her views. Try eating a pig in a Muslim place of worship.
- 57 votes
Yes
she had every right to be there but there are requirements for being in
a state to receive communion. I would not have received communion
during my second two marriages because according to canon law they
weren't valid ( previous marriage in church) It is the churches right to
set the rules for sacraments and if she was raised Catholic she should
know that. Especially since before she made her first communion she was
told them.
- 93 votes
Anyone
that says that the priest should have given her the communion clearly
does not what the communion is for. According to the Catholic Church,
homosexuality is a sin, therefore she was not "worthy" to receive the
communion because she was "living in sin" and was not repentant.
The rest of the garbage that the priest did, yes it was wrong if it was done to spite this woman. If it was truly a misunderstanding, then it was a tragic accident.
The woman was welcome to be there with her mother, however, she was not welcome to receive the communion.
The rest of the garbage that the priest did, yes it was wrong if it was done to spite this woman. If it was truly a misunderstanding, then it was a tragic accident.
The woman was welcome to be there with her mother, however, she was not welcome to receive the communion.
- 91 votes
Comment collapsed by the community
I
don't understand how these people are allowed to profess that they are
the hand of GOD when so many break the rules themselves.
My wife was Catholic, and we were married by a priest in an outdoor setting normally not allowed, because he had gotten a woman pregnant. He told them he would leave the country if they allowed him to marry us. Afterwords he went to the Taiwan, spent two years,left the priesthood, got married and became a minister.
My wife has several friends that work for or sing in the choir for a basilica. They will accept that but not a gay woman burying her mother?
THe Catholic Church can be so hypocritical.
My wife was Catholic, and we were married by a priest in an outdoor setting normally not allowed, because he had gotten a woman pregnant. He told them he would leave the country if they allowed him to marry us. Afterwords he went to the Taiwan, spent two years,left the priesthood, got married and became a minister.
My wife has several friends that work for or sing in the choir for a basilica. They will accept that but not a gay woman burying her mother?
THe Catholic Church can be so hypocritical.
- 29 votes
Hypocritical
is another person that can't tell where the Jewish bible ends and the
new testament begins. Leviticus is Jewish dietary laws not christian
law. I know in the new testament Christ says no foods are unclean all
you chapter and verse types are free to tag the verse in here.
- 16 votes
another person that can't tell where the Jewish bible ends and the new testament begins. Leviticus is Jewish dietary laws not christian law. I know in the new testament Christ says no foods are unclean all you chapter and verse types are free to tag the verse in here.Then why does EVERY Christian quote Leviticus when discussing their hatred of homosexuals?
- 42 votes
A lot of armchair quarterbacks here pretending to know the stance of the Catholic Church on this.
For the record: The Catholic Church does not condemn the individual but condemns the act. The woman and her partner were not engaged in the act in the church. For all the priest knows - they could have been celibate and not engaging in any sexual acts. Regardless - according to canon law a priest may not prevent someone from receiving communion under these circumstances. The priest was out of line with his own Church's code of law.
For the record: The Catholic Church does not condemn the individual but condemns the act. The woman and her partner were not engaged in the act in the church. For all the priest knows - they could have been celibate and not engaging in any sexual acts. Regardless - according to canon law a priest may not prevent someone from receiving communion under these circumstances. The priest was out of line with his own Church's code of law.
- 48 votes
As
far a I understand it, the highly-respected Christian saint, St.
Augustine, taught that if a person feels that s/he is facing a forced
choice between following one's conscience and following Church policy,
then s/he SHOULD follow her/his own conscience. So if the daughter
judged herself to be in a 'state of grace', then she is authorized to
seek Holy Communion. On the other hand, by the same Augustinian
standard, if the priest's conscience says to himself that the woman is
living in a 'state of mortal sin', then I guess that he is authorized to
refuse her Communion (even if his decision is in conflict with the
Church's policy as indicated by the archdiocesan spokesperson). The
article does not indicate if the priest there asked the woman about
details of her active sex life, so it seems that he even made a rash
leap of judgement to decide about what "sins" were committed in private.
As I read the New Testament Scriptures, it seems pretty clear that Jesus pissed off some of the formal Jewish leaders around Jerusalem during His adult life, sometimes by associating with "sinful" folk like prostitutes or tax collectors or those "unclean" from birth with a physical or mental malady, sometimes by the actions of Him or His disciples on Sabbath (e.g. picking corn for sustenance, or 'working' a miracle healing). Jesus's loving treatment of such people appears IMO in stark contrast to the way this priest treated this grieving woman!
As I read the New Testament Scriptures, it seems pretty clear that Jesus pissed off some of the formal Jewish leaders around Jerusalem during His adult life, sometimes by associating with "sinful" folk like prostitutes or tax collectors or those "unclean" from birth with a physical or mental malady, sometimes by the actions of Him or His disciples on Sabbath (e.g. picking corn for sustenance, or 'working' a miracle healing). Jesus's loving treatment of such people appears IMO in stark contrast to the way this priest treated this grieving woman!
- 23 votes
If
you wish to recieve the sacraments in a Catholic Church you must be in a
state of grace. She wasn't. She should have known better. Why should
she be allowed to make her own rules?? The rest was indeed difficult.
But she brought this on herself.
- 23 votes
Gotta
love the BULL$H!T headlines from BSNBC. This article isn't as much
about the fact that she was denied communion (she knew she would but
tried anyway) as it was about her being disappointed about the treatment
of her mother. But of course BSNBC wouldn't have gotten the readership
if it hadn't used such an inflammatroy headline.
The priest woould have denied her communion any time - not just at her mother's funeral. But of course "special" people want "special" considerations at "special" events. She is pi$$ed because the priest stuck to the tenets of the church.
The priest woould have denied her communion any time - not just at her mother's funeral. But of course "special" people want "special" considerations at "special" events. She is pi$$ed because the priest stuck to the tenets of the church.
- 28 votes
This
is a very interesting issue. I'm very much in favor of gay rights,
including same-sex marriage; and I'm very much against religion and the
church. But I think I got to side with the church on this one. My son
is gay, and very active in the marriage equality movement. He says that
no church will ever be forced to perform a same-sex marriage against
their principles, and that there are plenty of churches already willing
to perform such marriages. The anti-gay-marriage contingent claims that
if same-sex marriages become legal, then the churches will be forced to
perform the marriage. Sorry, I don't buy that, and the same principle
applies here. While I don't have much use for the church, I think they
have a right to say who can participate in their rituals.
- 32 votes
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