Are we really going to do this? Elena Kagan just walked in, hugged and kissed some ladies (?!) and some men (?!) and now Patrick Leahy is introducing everybody and explaining what’s happening. What is happening? Well, Senator Byrd died! Everybody’s so sad. Everybody’s so sad that it’s going to be impossible to really pay attention to this bullshit confirmation process.
12:32 PM — Did you know Robert Byrd could recite the Constitution? He could look at it, put it back in his pocket or wherever it goes (the Smithsonian?), and then just cold read it back to you, from his mind. All except the Thirteenth Amendment. Never could remember that one.
12:35 PM — Kagan clerked for Thurgood Marshall. Is that really so great, Pat? Didn’t Thurgood Marshall say something bad about the Original Constitution, just because it allowed blacks to be kept as property?
12:37 PM — Leahy sure likes to talk about the histories and the civil rights. Did he learn nothing from The Joker?
12:44 PM — And here’s gay Jeff Sessions lisping through his opening “serious concerns” nonsense.
12:45 PM — Oh my goodness, this lady worked with Justice Ginsburg, too? Well that is Soviet.
12:46 PM — She voted against a gun right??!?! Well, luckily she will just replace one of the four in “5-4.”
12:48 PM — Why is Elena Kagan against the American Revolution and its political pamphlet in the voting booth of Independence, Glenn Beck’s Common Sense.
12:49 PM — The real question is this: Can Kagan’s eyebrows rise, Belushi-like, until they literally climb right off her head?
12:52 PM — Oh look, Jack Stuef is apparently alive:
12:35 PM — Kagan clerked for Thurgood Marshall. Is that really so great, Pat? Didn’t Thurgood Marshall say something bad about the Original Constitution, just because it allowed blacks to be kept as property?
12:37 PM — Leahy sure likes to talk about the histories and the civil rights. Did he learn nothing from The Joker?
12:44 PM — And here’s gay Jeff Sessions lisping through his opening “serious concerns” nonsense.
12:45 PM — Oh my goodness, this lady worked with Justice Ginsburg, too? Well that is Soviet.
12:46 PM — She voted against a gun right??!?! Well, luckily she will just replace one of the four in “5-4.”
12:48 PM — Why is Elena Kagan against the American Revolution and its political pamphlet in the voting booth of Independence, Glenn Beck’s Common Sense.
12:49 PM — The real question is this: Can Kagan’s eyebrows rise, Belushi-like, until they literally climb right off her head?
12:52 PM — Oh look, Jack Stuef is apparently alive:
Jack S.
kagan looks hawt
Jack S.
“oh, i just rolled out of bed and into a pile of makeup, hi guys”
Ken L.
yeah i gotta get me one of those purple spacesuits
Ken L.
she needs the buzz lightyear helmet to finish off that outfit.
12:53 PM — Jeff Sessions is finished now, and can go back to his vanilla sperm shake.
12:54 PM — Haha Chris Matthews just listed all the crimes Elena Kagan has committed against America, according to Sessions: She’s an anti-military communist academic.
12:54 PM — Haha Chris Matthews just listed all the crimes Elena Kagan has committed against America, according to Sessions: She’s an anti-military communist academic.
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